Messed Up Dares
by Abigail Thalia La Rue
Summary: These were all dares from Dontforget2RememberMe, therefore this is dedicated to her. As the title indicates, they're all really messed up, and really funny and random. Rated K plus for insanity. Love ya!


_** Author's note: Okay, this, and all the other chapters, are dares from Dontforget2RememberMe, therefore are dedicated to her. I hope they don't suck too much, but I really don't care.**_

_**Messed Up Dares**_

_Nico Starves at McDonalds_

Where am I! I'm so hungry! What am I going to do!

"What am I going to do Mrs. Patty?" I yelled at my best friend, Mrs. Patty, the best hamburger friend ever.

Wait. Hamburger.

No, she's my best friend. I can't! But I'm so hungry… I have no choice.

I start crying. Not that I'm being a baby or anything; who wouldn't cry when coming to the conclusion that they have to eat their best friend?

It was terribly, and so delicious. I was crying the whole time. I never wanted to do it, but I had to.

Gods, what have I done!

But, seriously, where am I?

I look around; probably should have done that earier.

Wait, no, I'm, at McDonalds! I could have gotten a Happy Meal? But I ate Mrs. Patty?

"What have I done!" I start bawling like a lunatic; I think that was abouit the time security threw me out.

Ew, I landed in gum.

_Leo Makes Toast_

Oh, hey, what's that? Hmm, you can find a lot of weird things in Bunker Nine. It's… a… toaster!

Ah, she's beautiful! Father's right; machines are so much better than those stupid organic life forms!

I think I'm in love.

I picked her up, and pulled a rag from my tool belt, and began to polish her.

The more time passed, the more stunning she became.

When she was all clean and sparkling, I hugged her.

We just stood there for a while, cuddling, then something hit me in the face.

I fell over, and my beautiful toaster fell from my arms and shattered into a thousand glittering pieces. All that was left of my true love.

I was there for what felt like an eternity, crying over her remains. It was actually only a few minutes.

Later, when I had collected myself enough to look up, I saw what had hit me.

It was a piece of toast.

_Annabeth and the Fork of Doom_

I was stuck doing the dishes, again. Just because Percy and I were making out in my cabin when it was time for inspection; how is it my fault that we scored the lowest?

Ow! What was that?

Hmm, this stupid fork tried to stab me; good thing I'm wearing gloves.

I dropped it back into the sink full of lave. Hey! It splashed lave on my arm! That burns!

I threw it across the room. It came back and hit me in the face.

I stared at it. This… thing, it's out to get me…

I kicked it away. It hit the wall and came back.

That would be my queue to flee the kitchen, screaming "that evil fork is trying to kill me!"

_Walls are so Rude_

I was walking through camp, heading to the arena, when I saw something looking at me.

It was a wall of the Apollo cabin.

"Hey," I walked towards it, glaring, and it was glaring back. The nerve of that thing! "What are you looking at?"

Oh, no, now it just thinks it can mock me? Not gonna happen! "Hey! Do you know who I am? I'm Clarisse La Rue, daughter of Ares, the one who is about to kick your stupid butt if you don't stop that!"

Arg! It was still copying everything I did! That's it, that wall's going to get it!

And it did, until the Apollo kids dragged me off and yelled at me for beating up their stupid, golden cabin.

_Connor's First Kiss_

God's, how did I get stuck sweeping the cabin? This sucks!

I was finally done, after like ten minutes of trying to get all the dirt and dust off the floor.

I flipped over the broom, about to put it away. Hmm, I just realized, I'm probably going to kiss that Aphrodite girl, what's her name? Uh… Madison! Yeah, I was probably going to kiss Madison at the fireworks in a few days. But, I've never kissed a girl… I could probably use a little practice.

And then, a few minutes later, Travis came it.

"Dude! Why are you making out with a broom!"

_Mr. D has a Crush_

Where is he? I'm trying to profess my undying love, and he's not here!

Oh, there he is!

"Chiron!" I ran to him, grabbing his hands, knocking his coffee onto the floor with a crash.

"Yes, Lord Dionysus?-"

"No, don't speak," I pressed a finger to his soft lips. "Just listen for a moment, my sweet Chiron."

I gazed into his beautiful eyes. "I love you, with all of my heart. I have for a millennia, and I cannot hold back my feelings any longer! Please, tell me that you love me as well."

He stared at me like one would stare at a mad man. But, I was mad, with love.

"Mr. D, I'm sorry, but I have no such feelings for you whatsoever, and I must go to teach an archery class at once."

And, with that, he was gone. I just stood there for a moment, in complete and utter shock.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

_**Author's note: Okay, well, that was, interesting. Please, tell me what you think! Love ya!**_


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